Thursday, January 12, 2012

40 Is The New 30

There are a lot of important issues in this election year. One of the most important is age. Social Security and other benefits have a required minimum or maximum age. So after many hours of study, I reveal the Official American "X is the new ?" table.

Consulting this table will now enable us to understand everything from Obama raising the maximum dependent age for health insurance to raising the social security retirement age. I cannot overstate the seriousness of this calculation and as new information is revealed we may need to make corrections. Accuracy is key.

Lets look at examples.

Say you are turning 40 years of age; you can now confidently say that 40 is the new 30. If anyone is foolish enough to argue, the proof is right here.

Did your know-it-all little brother or sister recently turn 21? You can now confidently tell them that they are acting like an eighteen year old.

Did someone you know just turn 100? They will be happy to know that 100 is the new 75!

This information also describes how immature young Americans have become of late. A few years ago, 30 was considered a responsibly adult. Now, the age of 30 is equivalent to someone who has begun to escape the bar scene.

Thousands of experts and scientists were consulted to compile this data. It is the consensus and do not believe  anyone who "denies." The science is settled and the debate is over.

Please direct your data inquiries to check this research to the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Media requests and comments may be left below for a quick reply.

1 comment:

Foxfier said...

Really freaking annoying to those of us who never adjusted to the old "new" ones.




Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...