Obama Zombie Apocalypse Twinkies Stash

This is all the Hostess treats found in my Obama Zombie Apocalypse food stash.

I knew there would be consequences from the reelection of President Obama, but I never guessed they would come for my twinkies!

You can read more about the first cultural victim of the second Obama term over at W.C. Varones' An Ode to Hostess.

More members of the San Diego Local Order of Bloggers will surely chime in.

La Mesa Police Preppers Build Zombie Apocalypse Fortress

The City of La Mesa Police Department has built a zombie apocalypse fortress.  Elevated windows, layered stone walls and a gatehouse provide protection and multiple fields of fire against zombie hordes. When entering special polarized windows make the duty officers invisible from a distance. Additional access to the fire department and county library is available at the fortress rear.

The new police station will be a two story building with underground secured
parking.  The underground parking will hold our entire fleet of City owned
vehicles and allow for employees to park their personal vehicles as well.  The
underground parking structure is approximately 45,000 square feet. The two story building is approximately 40,000 square feet.

Any media inquires regarding the new building can be directed to Captain Ed Aceves 619-667-143  (Ground Breaking Ceremony for New La Mesa Police Station)

The gatehouse at 8083 University Avenue in La Mesa guards the larger complex from vehicle threats. The roof does not appear to include a helicopter landing pad, but it looks accessible to high-power-rifle armed defenders. Five towers may provide covered high ground, but may be simple architectural accents.  Backup power, water and food stores are assumed to be available in the large underground secured parking area.

I missed the open house on September 21, 2010 but from the announcement in East County Magazine:

In 2004, La Mesa residents passed the Proposition D bond measure in the amount of 25 million dollars to build the new Fire Station, remodel Fire Station 13, and build the new Police Department. With the opening of the new Police Department, all three projects have been completed.

Critics may say this is what happens when fourteen-year-old boys never grow up, but I disagree. If the zombie hordes come, there will be a $14,727,000 well-armed and defensible facility in La Mesa, California.  You can review the prepper paradise via google maps street view.





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Who is the Better President for the Zombie Apocalypse: Barack Obama

In honor of the return of AMC's The Walking Dead television series, lets mix presidential politics with the imminent Zombie Apocalypse!

GQ breached the subject in an piece entitled "Which Candidate Would Shane from The Walking Dead Recruit in a Zombie Apocalypse?" By Andrew Richdale.  Jon Bernthal, the actor who plays Shane, cited Barack Obama due to his:

"unbelievably inspirational speeches. Plus, he's an athlete."

Lets start our review there with Barack Obama as the first in this series.

Pros

Barry is an excellent talker and has plenty of thuggery and community organizing under his belt. He is underhanded, deceitful and used to killing which may play well in a zombie infested hell. If you recall the 2008 primary, Obama ran the dirtiest most vicious campaign in recent history against Hillary Clinton. Charges of racism were leveled against Bill Clinton and at one point Hillary was reduced to tears proclaiming "shame on you." In a zombie Apocalypse, Obama would definitely break knees to ensure his own survival.  As a dictator promising zombie protection, Obama has a cold, ruthless appeal.

Cons

On the Obama down side, there would be no wealth to redistribute. Scarcity would be extreme and, as the Jamestown settlers discovered, only individual incentive and ownership can lead to group prosperity.  To restate in Obama's leftist lingo: collective salvation is impossible without other people's resources. Cannibalizing and sacrificing the living, thus the future, would become policy.

How It Would All Play Out:

In a 2012 Barackalypse the first couple days would go well. Desperate masses would join the ranks of Obama followers, inspired by his ruthless yet "articulate" rhetoric and ability to adhere to Rule #1: Cardio. Shortly thereafter, groups of people being used as zombie bait would bring transparency to the cannibalistic hierarchy of his rule. Challengers would conveniently disappear along with the old, sick and injured. The policy of eliminating the undesirables would be given the politically correct name "interception". The implication, of course, being that the zombie chum had sacrificed themselves for the "greater good." Followers would report dissent to #zombiewatch.

In the end, Obama would be thrown to the zombie hordes by an angry mob. At that point he would become the zombie leader, Ozombie. Ozombie would be well suited to lead the mindless rotting hordes who depend upon sucking the life, blood and brains from the living. Unfortunately, the cannibalized human population would  pose another massive resource deficit for Ozombie's horde. Barry just can't catch a break.

The Republican Candidates:

Newt Gingrich (coming soon)

Rick Santorum (coming soon)

Ron Paul  (coming soon)

Mitt Romney  (coming soon)